Okay, guys, here’s the plan. We already have these corpses…"
“Gotta love any plan that begins with that step.”
— Our party, coming up with a plan (via outofcontextdnd)
So my Dad and brother took separate cars to dinner tonight, and this happened.
they look like they are arguing about who is going to go home and change
Oh, they were.
Jake: You’ve got to be kidding me
Dad: You SAW me walk through the kitchen on my way to pick up your sister!
Jake: No seriously do you have an extra shirt in your car this is ridiculous
Oh my god they’re gonna kill me they didn’t want to even walk into the restaurant together let alone have this many people reblog this photo
Secret Service: “Dammit, we need to stop playing hide and seek.”
Calvin Coolidge: “You lose.”
Also, apparently as President he often went to dinner parties he hated. Someone finally asked why he went. His reply: “Got to eat somewhere.” Source
STEVEN RUSSELL WAS A FUCKING GENIUS.
- Originally arrested for Insurance Fraud, he met the love of his life Phillip Morris in prison
- He got out before Phillip, so he proceeded to GET PHILLIP OUT OF PRISON
- He wanted to give Phillip a glamourous life, so he got a big-name job, and then started embezzling funds
- he was arrested and then broke out TWICE MORE and kept busting out
- then he was arrested again, and the above happened
- while he was on the run from this, he was determined to get Phillip (who was in trouble for harboring him) out of prison so he pretended to be a lawyer and hit up Phillip’s jail 24/7. He tried to get Phillip moved to a prison closer to where he was hiding so he couLD VISIT HIM
- AND THEN he made a fake identity and tried to get a 75k loan, and was arrested AGAIN, but he FAKED A HEART ATTACK AND LEFT BEFORE HE WAS EVEN PLACED IN PRISON AGAIN
- There’s a movie about his life called “I love you, phillip morris” Starring Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor
THAT’S BASED ON A TRUE STORY WHAT
reblog this if you want a terrible 3 sentence fanfiction in your ask based on your url
Who remembers the Berenstain Bears? Many people actually remember it as the Berenstein Bears. It’s part of the Mandela theory, or a term that someone is positive something happened although it didn’t. Many attribute these false memories as a glimpse into a parallel universe. (Source)
Ok nonononono fuck no I swear I have these on my shelf and I swear to god they say Berenstein, I am checking right now this cannot be real
WHAT THE FUCJK THEY ALL FUKCING SAY BERENSTAIN THEY DIDN’T SAY THAT WHEN i WAS A CHILD I DON’T UNDERSTAND. THIS CANNOT BE REAL, THIS CANNOT BE A THING
It was DEFINITELY Berenstein though, this is blowing my mind. If you had asked me before this moment I would have spelled it that way, and now I have like ten books on my shelf spelled like freaking Berenstain.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
WHO THE FUCK WENT BACK IN TIME AND CREATED THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD YOU CHANGE SOMETHING LIKE THIS